Sexy and you know it all

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As you can tell I spend a lot of my spare time at the gym, reading about it or talking about it. One of my major issues at the gym (apart from the people that go!) is the personal trainers.

By personal trainers I do not mean all of them, under some catch all umbrella term, as some I know are very helpful and knowledgeable, but the ones at my gym seem to be from another planet. Planet Asshole. I really struggle with them and their attitudes.

They are all males at the gym and I have ended up having it out with one of the more cocky ones and his smart ass attitude to gym goers that they appear to me to be seen as a target “un-knowledgeable girls”. I am clearly seen as one of them as I am not toned (through choice and love of food) and I was the target on this occasion and unfortunately for him I was pumped up and ready for a ruck.

I have outlined the circumstances on this particular occasions for your reference! He asked me what I  was doing and when I said legs he asked what exercises I do for that – when I told him about the exercises he started shaking his head and patronising me like these PT’s seem to do.

Him – “Oh no, you don’t want to be doing that, those exercises are for bodybuilding, where did you get that from? That’s not right for you or for toning”

That got my back up… I was all HOLD UP!!! at this point. “Toning? You don’t know what my goal is! Bodybuilding is what I want to achieve!”

Him – “Well you won’t get lean that way – most women want to get lean and toned”

Me – “I’m not most women. I don’t understand how you can come to that assumption when you’ve never met or spoken to me before now. I’m more interested in increasing my BMR.”

Him – “Do you know really what BMR means?”

Me (dagger looks) – “Basal. Metabolic. Rate. Thank you. I want to increase my muscle mass, therefore increasing my BMR, leading me to be able to eat more. My goal is to be able to eat more food.”

Him – “Oh. Well you need to do more squats and less….”

At this point I walked away. I’m not 8, I’m not at school anymore, I’m not a naughty girl and I definitely don’t need to be belittled by anyone. Needless to say I’ve been ignored by him ever since but on the other hand none of them have tried to talk to me since.

Girl power!

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Please go…everyone else said you would

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When I heard all the great “press” about how you could rid yourself of such awful feelings and thoughts and even “blow away the cobwebs” by going to the gym – I signed up. I am due to contact Trading Standards for mis-selling on a huge scale.

I feel just as negative and sarcastic as I always had, just a little bit (physically stronger) which may be handy if I ever need to calf press my way out of somewhere! Every one bangs on about how great and positive they feel focused. I, on the other hand, leave the gym tired, shaking, sweaty and dying for food. That to me does not sound positive and care-free but more like the whole birthing process – minus the pain relieving drugs, of course.

Am I missing something? Did I forget to take a compulsory happy pill in the changing room? Am I exercising wrong?

I cycle away for 20 minutes while having my ear drums blasted, after about 100 calories or 20 minutes – maybe then to “spice up” cardio I’ll do a little treadmill power walking or the stepper just so I can justify all the junk food I eat at every given opportunity. Then on with the weights. Legs, shoulders or arms? Maybe a little chest or a few crunches? I do go hard on the weights but while I’m pedaling/stepping/walking or taking a break in between sets all my problems are still there – looming and generally pee-ing me off. I was told that they would go away – I want my money back.

The weight increases and the reps go up sometimes but my poxy car loan is still there while I’m pulling stupid strain faces at the poor innocent man doing the shoulder press and we end up making uncomfortable eye contact. He’s not going to be scared of my face and offer to pay off my credit card if I promise never to pull that face again – or at least it hasn’t happened yet.

I would rather buy a lottery ticket and lay in bed that night dreaming on all the stuff I can pay off when I find out I’ve won the next day. Is it just my grumpy mindset? How do you see/feel the positive in the gym or exercise? At least I’d be financially better off if I cancelled my membership – might get myself another couple of lottery tickets…

Mustn’t Move

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So I rent out some rooms in the house I live in. I like to tell myself it’s great and it helps out with the bills and everything but actually I don’t know that it is that great.

One in particular cooks a lot, makes most of his food from scratch. He’s intelligent and speaks posh and I never know what he thinks or where I stand with him. However, as a result of his incessant cooking he really pisses me off. It makes me feel like it’s his kitchen so I feel an inconvenience in my own kitchen. I sit on the sofa listening to him cook with every known electric implement in use sucking into my bank account and pissing me off.

I feel like I can’t go in there or do what I want in the utility or dining room because he’s cooking. I get feelings that he might be watching and judging whatever the hell it is I want to do. As such I’ve had the same microwaveable korma two nights in a row and sat eating it in the lounge out of his sight.

What’s that all about! Posh twat! It’s incredibly frustrating feeling helpless and unable to roam free in my own house. He’s so damn noisy too I have to keep turning the TV up to listen to whatever shite it is I have on. I want to shut the doors on him or tell him to STFU!

Incredibly what irritates me most is all the lights and appliances left on putting more and more money into the electricity company’s pocket.

The doors in my house are like fire doors and close unless wedged open. The chef mentioned above seems to have satisfaction in leaving them to close on their own. That slamming noise that he makes behind himself makes me want to kick the door in.

Why do people have to make so much noise? There is not much else in this world that I love more than silence. I feel like I can breathe when there is silence. I feel like there is no conflicts (like if you have your phone ringing, radio playing and TV on all ay once) kind of conflict. Silence is a beautiful thing – dangerous too though as my thoughts aren’t always safe either.